are you freaking kidding me??!!?!?

I got a phone call from my mother in law about an hour ago. It started out relatively painless. Then she asked what my plans were this weekend. What are my plans? Well, I'm moving in four days. My plans are to start organizing the items that I'm taking in the car with me for my 18-hour drive with two young children. My plans are to do laundry so I'm not packing and moving dirty things. My plans are to throw out extraneous items so I don't have to move them. My plans are to have an anxiety attack and sob quietly in the corner. What are your plans? "I have some packing and organizing to do," I say.

"Well," she says, "we were wondering if we could drive up this weekend to visit with the girls before you left." My house has been on the market since November. You haven't come to visit in nearly a year. My husband - your son - just left this past Monday after being home for 10 days, and you want to visit the weekend before my move? Are you for real?!? "I'm going to be pretty busy. I really don't think that will work," I say. "But the movers are going to be doing all the packing," she says. I politely decline.

I call my husband about 30 minutes later and ask him if he knew his mother was going to call me. He says that he did not, but that he just talked to them. Yes, that's right. His mother called him right after she got off the phone with me. She called him at a conference in Florida, where he is working, to try her passive-aggressive wonder powers on him. He had pretty much the same response I did, and told them that he was working and didn't have time for this. (Have I mentioned I love this man?)

This is the real kicker. Where were my in-laws three weekends ago? They were home in Cincinnati babysitting my sister-in-law's child. Where were they the weekend after that, when my husband was home? They were in Cleveland, visiting my sister-in-law. Where were they last weekend when my husband was still home? They were in southern Ohio for the birth of another grandkid... Okay, I have to give them that one.

There's a reason I'm moving 1400 miles away.